The experience with Janelle was definitely perplexing and a novel experience to say the least. With the disclaimer that I am science geared, Iím not sure I had the ability to facilitate these images and expressions as she had expected of us. However, I came with the open mind that there are even flaws in science. The human mind in and of itself lacks scientific closure, and maybe just what we are missing is the understanding of communicative language from energy.
First off, Janelle made me feel so relaxed with her breathing exercises. Iíve even used this outside the realm of animal/tree communication. I was introduced to meditation this year and through this I have been able to embody this tranquil state I did not know I possessed. Janelle brought me there and for that I was able to blissfully walk away from this experience, floating on the fog that transcended in my presence.
I was trying to communicate with each subject in the way she suggested, but I was mostly stuck in this limbo of whether I had called for the animal to come to me or if I had just derived an image from my subconscious memory. I felt that I was able to embody myself as the dog (Shera) more so than the other exercises. However, I still questioned whether what I felt was derived from a human and western perception of what being a dog would be like, or from the interpretation of Sheraís energy.
It seems that with the energy physically present, it was easier to envision myself from Sheraís perception, than to call forth an energy of a pet that has since passed. Regardless of the validity of my experience, I still felt that I learned from the experience. My interactions with Shera and with the tree reflected my current emotional turmoil. In some ways they both gave me the answers to what has been plaguing my mind most recently.
I attempted to interact with a fish that is in a pond on campus. This is my favorite spot on campus where I can find solitude and tranquility in this subtly created, tiny ecosystem. At the pond is this very friendly koi fish. My friend and I named him Howard our first year at UCSB (No captivating story as to why). I often eat my lunch with Howard who swims along my side or pops his head up to beg for food. I decided to try this experience with Howard, of whom Iíve come to consider my own pet (as I cannot have one in my room) and my friend. At first, I didnít know how to start so I closed my eyes and took a couple deep breathes and ďcalledĒ for Howard to come towards my side of the pond. As I had mentioned, when we were working with Janelle, I felt that I received the best response from envisioning life from their eyes. I pictured myself in this pond, seeing the rocks to my left with a cloud of tadpoles hiding behind the mass. It was shaded because above my head was a lily pad. I could see the stems of the cattails projecting out of the water, swaying in the wind. The whole image was rather green and murky. When I would swim next to the smaller fish they would quickly swim in the opposite direction. I found myself wondering if Howard ever felt lonely. After I made this observation, I felt much more tense and a sort of defensive attitude. In a way it seemed like questioning if he ever felt lonely as the only koi fish in this pond of significantly smaller fish and tadpoles created this defensive energy. It felt like he had to uphold his alpha position with his prideful disposition.
Again Iím not sure if this was just personal projection of how I would react in his position, but I felt the transition from calm to tense quickly and assertively. Iím still rather skeptical about being able to communicate with animals, but Iím willing to try again with Howard.